Talk is Cheap, Listening is Priceless

By Mary Bresnahan
the Bresnahan Group

Many organizations talk about communication problems. Some are concerned enough to do something about it -- that is, implement training for employees to become more effective communicators. What does that mean? How can businesses improve communication?

We spend 40 percent of our time listening and 35 percent talking. The remainder is spent reading (16 percent) and writing (9 percent). It is interesting to note that 70 percent of the time, people filter out or change the meaning of what they hear. Nevertheless, if a person really wants to get a point across, he will make every effort to be understood.

Effective communication includes both speaking and listening. A speaker needs to deliver his message in such a way that the listener wants to listen. It is also helpful for the speaker to sure the listener's interpretation is what was intended. This can be done by asking questions or having the listener paraphrase what was heard.

To be a good communicator, it is helpful to understand more about listening. There is a definite difference between hearing and active listening. Hearing is when words are heard, but no great effort is put into understanding or responding. The classic example is:

Speaker: "The house is on fire."
Receiver: "Yes dear, that's nice."

Listening is putting meaning to the words we hear. Active listening is when the listener responds with questions and comments about what was heard. This is sometimes called, "conversation."

Nonverbal actions also become an important part of the communication process. These include facial expressions and body language.

The effectiveness of our listening depends on whether or not we are:

• Judging what is said
• Collecting ideas for our response
• Giving full attention to the speaker
• Distracted either by external or internal factors
• In sync with the manner in which the speaker is delivering his message
• Open-minded
• Asking questions, paraphrasing and/or clarifying what is said
• Interested in the subject

On top of these factors, our listening style affects how well we listen to others. The Carlson Learning Co.(now Inscape Publishing), Minneapolis, MN, has developed the following profiles to help people identify their listening style:

Appreciative. This listener wants to be entertained. He likes to listen to people who make him feel good about himself. This helps him relax. He cares more about the impression made by the speaker than the details of what is presented.

Empathic. This person empathizes with the listener. He is a patient listener, and listens to feelings and emotions. He reflects on what has been said. These listeners are often sounding boards for others and they encourage the speaker to make a decision.

Comprehensive. The listener relates what he hears to his previous experiences. He will summarize what he has heard frequently by asking questions and clarifying. He can usually recognize when the speaker is saying one thing while meaning something else.

Discerning. This person wants to make sure he gets all the information. He frequently takes notes so he won't forget. He finds distraction annoying and will try to eliminate it.

Evaluative. This listener tends to look for the facts to support what the speaker has said. He listens for how the arguments are developed, so he can critique the message. He will listen until he is sure of what the speaker is saying. He tends to be skeptical.

Though we might use different listening styles at different times, we tend to have a preference. There is no right or wrong; just different. Recognizing our listening style allows us to appreciate the way others listen, and thereby, communicate more effectively to their style. This awareness can also help us develop our other styles so we can use the appropriate listen style for each situation.

Becoming a more effective communicator can help us in everything we do. A number of situations where it will pay-off are:

• Team building
• Increased productivity
• Customer service
• Selling
• Management and supervisory tasks
• Conflict resolution

Mary Bresnahan is the principle of the Bresnahan Group which specializes in providing business solutions to people issues. Bresnahan was instrumental in the design, development and implementation of the SMI University Coiler Training Program, and has written several articles for Springs. She holds a bachelor's degree in education and a master's degree in organization development. Bresnahan can be contacted at (630) 653-1933 or via e-mail at BresGroup @ 4u.net.

This article appeared in the Fall, 1998 edition of Springs

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